First Book Fair of 2024!
Join me and many other authors at Evergreen Cultural Centre in Coquitlam.
Wishing Shelf Feedback & Advice for Indie Authors
As some of you know, Lure was a finalist in the UK Wishing Shelf Awards this year. It’s a wonderful, legitimate contest and one I highly recommend for several reasons. The contest is run by Edward Trayer, a Young Adult/Children’s book author, who created a fair and honest process to help Indies. The entry fee is reasonable (£39) and books are read and judged by reading teams in London and Stockholm. As a Canadian, I’m excited to hear what European readers think of my work. For your entry fee, you receive excellent feedback and an honest Goodreads and Bookbub review based on readers’ comments. Finalists have the option of purchasing a real gold medal. I love to show mine to customers at markets.
I received my feedback this morning. First, I’ll share what the readers said about LURE, and then I’ll add some general commentary for Indie authors that I share with the Wishing Shelf team. I like that the reader is identified by age and gender, and that you also receive the stats. So here we go:
5 Star Rating from 15 readers
Editing: 9/10 - Writing Style: 9/10 - Content: 9/10 - Cover: 3/5
Of those 15 readers: 14 would read another book by this author. 10 thought the cover was good or excellent. 15 felt it was easy to follow. 14 would recommend this book to another reader to try. Of all the readers — 5 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘plotting a story’ — 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘developing the characters’ — 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’ — 15 felt the pacing was good or excellent — 14 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted. Readers’Comments (This part makes my heart thump!) “Excellent chemistry between the characters, and plenty happening to keep most thriller lovers turning the page. The ‘disturbing discovery’ is when the book took off for me. I plan to hunt out other novels by this author.” Male reader, 37 “A surprisingly fun story considering the subject matter. The author is good at plotting and developing the two central characters, Hawk and Jesse. I loved the twists in the story, and the setting worked perfectly.” Female reader, 38 “Always fun to find an author who’s prepared to offer readers a highly original tale with a highly original setting. I thoroughly enjoyed this drama.” Female reader, 42 “I suspect anybody who enjoys a cleverly plotted mystery and has an interest in Native American culture will find this a compelling story. The author works hard – and is mostly successfully – in delivering suspense, mystery, and even romance.” Female reader, 53 To Sum It Up: ‘A skillfully plotted mystery with a cast of fully developed characters. A FINALIST and highly recommended!’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards I'm thrilled by the feedback but what I really appreciate is the depth of analysis. This isn't about glitz. It's about quality and affect on readers. So, thank you Edward Trayer (Billy Bob Buttons) for a well-conceived and managed contest. Tips from The Wishing Shelf Filtered Through the Lens of My Experience: Included was some general feedback Edward and his teams have amassed over the years. Indie authors, especially when starting out, tend to make mistakes. As a book reviewer and voracious reader, I often see the issues I'm paraphrasing here. Blurb: A book blurb is not a summary; it's a sales pitch. Make it short and enticing. Who are the main characters: protagonist and antagonist. What are the stakes? Include a cool tagline. For example: A SEXY HITCHCOCKIAN THRILLER THAT DEMYSTIFIES VAMPIRE AND ILLUSTRATES THE POWER OF LOVE (To Render a Raven.) I also add author endorsements. Formatting: Though it's tempting to reduce printing costs by using small fonts and slim margins, don't make your text illegible or crowded along the inside crease. Use clear, crisp, readable fonts. Don't be seduced by weird, cool, or pretty. Pacing: Don't rush the climax and the ending. As Edward says it should be "BIG AND EXCITING" not two pages and THE END. Editing: Nothing turns a reader off like typos. Hire a professional editor to scour your text for spelling and grammar problems. The author's eyes tend to glance over the text. Beginnings: Start "in medias res" or in the middle of the action. Nothing kills the excitement of a story like pages of setting, backstory, and description. Yes, we need to know place and time, but try to show it by having your character engaged in some exciting activity that will grab the reader. Word Length: Character development takes time. Don't rush it and publish a novella that should be a full-length novel. Most novels are between 70,000 - 90,000 words, but check the expectations for your genre. Point-of-View: Omniscient is out and Limited Omniscient or First Person is in. This means, the viewpoint character only knows certain things, and not what's happening in the heads of other characters. They can assume, wonder, or interpret via the actions of others but "head-hopping" is a cardinal sin. When you're tempted to describe another character's reactions or thoughts in detail, it's time to switch scenes. I hope you find this helpful. I don't often let my captive English teacher out, but sometimes I just gotta say … Do it right. And, thank you to Edward and the Wishing Shelf team for all your hard work.
A Win for LURE
I’m thrilled to announce that LURE: Jesse & Hawk just won a National Indie Excellence Award. I’m proud of LURE and how far it’s come. It was the first book I ever completed way back in the early 1990s when I deep into Indigenous Studies at Trent University. I wrapped it in brown paper and carried it around through many moves over many years. A couple of years ago, I rewrote it and launched it.
It’s hard for Indie authors these days. We’re often seen as inferior because our work hasn’t been accepted by a big publisher, so an award like this really makes me feel good.
A Little Lure Anniversary Love
First, let me say, I’m excited to announce that LURE is a finalist in the 2022 Wishing Shelf Book Awards in the Adult Fiction category. There were 155 entries and 58 finalists. Congratulations to my friend, JP McLean, who also made finalist with her supernatural thriller, Ghost Mark.
Many thanks to all the readers who voted for LURE!
Authors are constantly invited to enter contests and they all charge fees—some are HUGE. Many are nothing but money grabs. This one is for real and is vetted by ALLi (pronounced ally.) The Wishing Shelf is a UK Contest organized by Edward Trayer, himself a writer and great communicator. Books were read by teams in London and Stockholm and are judged on editing, theme, style, and cover. They advertise the finalists on Goodreads and offer feedback to authors. And, they support Blind Children UK with Guide Dogs. How cool is that?
I’m especially honored to be part of this wide genre—Adult Fiction—which includes all kinds of sub-genres. The winners will be announced in April. Fingers crossed.
This news comes at a great time as my LURE ebook is on sale this week at Amazon.com and Amazon.UK If you haven’t read it, here’s your chance. You can also find it on The Fussy Librarian today under Contemporary Romance.
Finally, LURE is now available as an audio book on Google Play and Kobo!
This is the life of an Independent Author/Publisher. We’re constantly juggling a zillion balls. Thank you to all who support my writing journey!
A Gold Satin Debra . . . wait . . . A Gold Satin Murder
I’m excited to introduce you to my friend and fellow mystery/crime writer, Debra Purdy Kong and her latest crime fiction. If I remember correctly, the “gold satin” has something to do with a thong. My my!
I met Debra a few years ago at a Crime Writers of Canada event and we went on to share the stage at readings and events. Debra’s a seasoned author who knows how to paint a scene and entice her audience into reading more. See the first scene teaser below.
Debra’s volunteer experiences, criminology diploma, and various jobs inspired her to write mysteries set in BC’s Lower Mainland. Her employment as a campus security patrol and communications officer provided the background for her Casey Holland transit security novels.
Debra has published short stories in a variety of genres as well as personal essays, and articles for publications such as Chicken Soup for the Bride’s Soul, B.C. Parent Magazine, and The Vancouver Sun. She is a facilitator for the Creative Writing Program through Port Moody Recreation and a long-time member of Crime Writers of Canada. She lives in British Columbia, Canada.
The Blurb:
Transit cop Casey Holland has never met a bus passenger like the charming artist and exotic dancer, Eduardo. The bus driver Lily has certainly befriended him. But when Eduardo’s charged with murder, Lily’s caught in the middle of his legal trouble. Afraid of losing her job and custody of her son, she begs Casey for help in proving Eduardo’s innocence.
Casey’s search for answers takes her and her best friend Kendal to a troupe of strippers known as Man Cave. While the men are busy peeling off their clothes, Casey’s peeling back layers of secrets and betrayal. Nuttier than her usual adventures, the risk is just as deadly in this seventh installment of the Casey Holland transit mysteries.
When I read the blurb for Debra’s latest Casey Holland novella, I was intrigued by the character Eduardo and the male strippers known as The Man Cave. I really think Eduardo needs to meet up with my protagonist, Estrada, and spend some time at Club Pegasus. Estrada would be happy to introduce Eduardo to beautiful women so he could leave his bus-hopping days behind. Anyway, I asked Debra to tell me about Eduardo.
Where did Eduardo come from and what was the inspiration for this book?
I wanted to create a character who’s relatively uncomplicated and positive, yet still interesting. Eduardo’s a composite of people I met while working as a campus security guard several years ago, although none of them were aspiring artists or part-time strippers, like Eduardo. Some were new immigrants who struggled with English. They were engineers, doctors, and dentists in their birth countries and doing whatever they could to pay the bills until they acquired Canadian accreditation. They were the sweetest, most respectful guys to work with. There were also a few coworkers who possessed a great deal of swagger and over-confidence in their abilities.
Those experiences reinforced a truth I’ve known for some time. There’s always much more to people than meets the eye, and not everyone’s motives are negative. Eduardo is flawed, but he’s also a happy, easygoing guy. He’s an artist, a professional escort, and a stripper. He loves his family and wouldn’t wish harm on anyone, which is why his arrest for murder baffles him.
I chose those jobs for Eduardo because it suits his character. It also creates a quirky, somewhat awkward situation for Casey and her husband Lou. In the previous books, Casey’s work as a security officer for a bus company has either evolved into or merged with serious and dangerous situations. I wanted to give her a bit of a break from that level of intensity while still investigating a crime. To be honest, I haven’t been to a real-life Chippendales-type show. A member of my writers’ group has, though, and she shared some great insights about female audiences. In my early twenties, my boyfriend at the time took me to see female strippers. As I recall, the male audience was exceptionally well-behaved compared with the women in my story. But as characters discover in A Gold Satin Murder (a novella), actions, in and out of the shows, have consequences
Are you intrigued? Do you want more?
Here are the buy and connect links. But scroll down for a little September gift from Debra and read the first scene!
Amazon: https://mybook.to/AGoldSatinMurder
Kobo Canada: https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/a-gold-satin-murder
Kobo U.S. https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/a-gold-satin-murder
Apple books: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id6443255297
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-gold-satin-murder-debra-purdy-kong/1141951058?ean=2940166433930
Connect with Debra:
Blog: https://debrapurdykong.wordpress.com/
Newsletter: https://sendfox.com/debrapurdykong
Website: www.debrapurdykong.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebraPurdyKong
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DebraPurdyKongAuthor
Email: dpurdykong@gmail.com
A Gold Satin Murder: Chapter 1
After a decade of security work for Mainland Public Transport, Casey Holland had learned that troublesome passengers were usually rude, loud, and poorly dressed. But the gorgeous, broad-shouldered man in the charcoal suit, white shirt, and bright red tie strutting down the aisle was a new, intriguing challenge.
The moment the man spotted Casey, he gave her a broad, toothy smile. Cool. Her silky, low-cut tank top and dangling crystal earrings were doing their job. Undercover assignments rarely involved dressing up, but passenger complaints about a hot guy who’d been badgering women to model for his paintings required a different fashion choice. Besides, the bus was way too warm this late-July evening. The less she had to wear the better.
Casey winked at the man, then tilted her head toward the empty seat next to her. He slowed his pace and nodded to the gaping middle-aged woman he passed by. Judging from a quick survey, the man had caught the attention of most passengers. The men didn’t look as impressed as the women, though.
“Hola, señorita.” Gold-flecked brown eyes glanced at her hands as he sat down. “I am Eduardo from Ecuador.”
“Casey. From Vancouver,” she replied. “How are ya?” To reveal she was a señora who’d been happily married for just over a year might put him off, so the wedding rings stayed home.
“Excelente.” He beamed. “I am here only three months, but I am in love with Vancouver. It has many interesting people.”
“That it does.” His cedarwood and vanilla cologne sent a jolt of nostalgia through Casey. When Dad was alive, she occasionally gave him a bottle of something similarly scented for Father’s Day. She sat up straighter and zeroed in on Eduardo. Not the time for reflection.
“I apologize if my English is not so good,” Eduardo said.
“It sounds fine to me.” She smiled. “Do you live in this part of the city?”
“Si. Only one block away. I love to walk and ride the buses and talk to people.”
He’d have many opportunities to do exactly that in Vancouver’s densely populated West End. Thanks to nearby Stanley Park, the popular English Bay beach, and many eateries, the area attracted tons of tourists as well as visitors from other areas of the Lower Mainland.
“Your eyes!” Eduardo slapped his hand over his heart. “La violeta. Extraordinario! I have not seen such a shade before. I am professional artista. May I paint you? It would be great honor! You are so be-eau-tiful.”
“Thank you.” Great honor and beautiful were the exact words two of the complainants had used in their written statements. “So, how many women have you approached about painting their portraits, especially while riding this bus?”
“Qué?” Eduardo’s smile faded. “Why do you ask me this?”
“I’m with Mainland Public Transport security.” She showed him her ID card. “We’ve had harassment complaints about you. One woman threatened to involve the police if it happened again.”
His eyes widened. “This cannot be.”
“The complaints said you wouldn’t take no for an answer until they either changed seats or left the bus.”
Eduardo sat back in his seat. “I am stupefied!”
Casey didn’t buy the naïve act. “Harassment of any type on MPT buses is against company policy.”
He fidgeted, not quite meeting her gaze. “I am just a single man who loves ladies and to create art.”
Eduardo produced a business card depicting an elegantly designed maple tree with crimson and tangerine leaves. But anyone could create a card and pass himself off as an artist.
“Is difficult to find models in new city. Art schools are filled up.” He frowned. “And many ladies choose to sit next to me and ask what I do to earn money.”
She believed him. Given the lusty stares a couple of women were tossing his way, Eduardo had probably found more than a few willing models and dates.
“Is it wrong to talk about art, or to ask a be-eau-tiful lady on a date? I might break bus rules, but I am not breaking real laws, no?”
Casey sighed. “Are you and I going to have a problem?”
He raised his hands, palms facing her. “I do not want trouble, but I must pursue my art.”
“Eduardo, the rules are there for a reason. They also give me the authority to kick you off any MPT bus if you’re breaking them.” Casey paused. “If you’re going to discuss portrait painting, then be clear about what you want. If you’re turned down, then I strongly advise you to leave the passenger alone. I assume you expect to be paid for your portraits?”
Eduardo nodded. “I do this not only for money but to find true soulmate.” He lowered his head. “I am not so lucky in love. Is heartbreaking road filled with big potholes.”
“Uh-huh.” She studied him. “Do you think you’ll find love on a bus?”
“I search everywhere.”’
Eduardo’s expression and demeanor seemed sincere, but she had her doubts about this guy.
“You must have tried dating apps,” she said.
“Si.” He grimaced. “They were not good. Is better to meet ladies in person.” He gave her a whimsical look. “Everywhere.”
Meaning he intended to keep chatting up women on MPT buses. Eduardo might be better looking and more polite than other rule breakers, but his resistant attitude was all too familiar. She’d be seeing him again, no doubt, and their second encounter wouldn’t be as cordial.
“Just be careful about what you say,” she cautioned. “Misunderstandings happen easily.”
The corners of Eduardo’s full, sensuous mouth turned down. “What shall I talk about? The boring weather? Is what others do.”
“Eduardo, buddy, unless someone speaks to you first, it might be best if you didn’t talk at all.”
Elements of Indigenous Style. Gregory Younging
The subtitle of Elements of Indigenous Style is A Guide for Writing By and About Indigenous Peoples. I read this book to learn what is appropriate and what is not, as the two fiction books I’m now writing include references to Indigenous Peoples and are set on Indigenous territory. After reading, I made revisions to my manuscript. Younging wrote this edition in 2018, so it may already need updating as, in Canada especially, much is changing rapidly with regard to how Indigenous and non-Indigenous people work together. I highly recommend this book to writers, editors, students, and anyone interested in reconciliation; in fact, we all should read it because we are in relationship with Indigenous People and need to be much more aware. I’m not re-writing the book here, just providing a sampling and speaking to a few key points.
Naming
Merging the name of his Cree mother (Young) and his Chinese father (Ing), Younging forged his own identity. I appreciate this, as I created my own name, Hawkin. It means “kin of hawks” and expressed my need for freedom following my divorce. I was neither my father’s daughter nor my ex-husband’s wife, but was searching for self. I identified strongly with the hawks who lived nearby in Ontario and still identify with birds of prey.
About Gregory Younging
Younging died in May 2019 at the age of fifty-eight, and was posthumously awarded the Association of Canadian Publishers President’s Award. You can read more about his achievements here. He was a member of the Opaskwayak Cree Nation in northern Manitoba, and managing editor/publisher of Theytus Books in Penticton, British Columbia, for many years. Theytus Books was the first Indigenous-owned publishing house in Canada and continues to publish Indigenous authors. Gregory Younging also taught at UBC Okanagan and served as assistant director of research to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada.
As I said, I learned much from this book. He includes appendixes, case studies, and twenty-two principles of style. Here are a few key points to consider that struck me.
Characteristics of Contemporary Indigenous Literature
Contemporary Indigenous Literature gives authority to all voices rather than one; as well as the voices of animals, and messages given by spirits and natural phenomenon; and it crosses circular time—ancient past, present, future. These characteristics come from the work of Anishinaabe author, Kim Blaeser (13).
Protocols for working in Collaboration
Non-Indigenous authors, or, Indigenous authors writing about a nation that is not their own, should enter into a relationship with that source nation, get permission, and negotiate mutually agreeable terms. Younging stresses collaboration and the need to always ask in an appropriate way. For example, when I studied at Trent University, the Protocol was to respectfully offer tobacco to an Elder or Teacher if you wanted to ask a question. If the person accepted it, they could help, and you had permission to engage. Younging writes that the Protocol is still to ask respectfully and offer a gift, but tobacco might not be the right gift. You need to find out what’s appropriate by asking around the community or asking the Elder. Then listen. Finally, give them the right to read your text before publication.
Awareness of Sources
I appreciate the chapter on terminology because much of this has changed since I studied in the nineties. Also, in some classes, we used texts written by archaeologists or anthropologists who viewed Indigenous Peoples as static cultures of a distant past. That is not the case. Indigenous Cultures are resilient, adaptive, dynamic, and distinct. If you use content published by anthropologists or historians be aware that the author likely did not follow Protocols, and translations often use stereotypical language and concepts. For example, the anthropological theory that Indigenous Peoples migrated across the Bering Strait to North America is not part of The Oral Traditions of The People.
Terminology to use and not to use
A few words to be wary of using are artifact, band (use the People), clan (unless it’s a particular Clan System, pagan/heathen, land claim (use Indigenous title), legends/myths/tales (use Oral Traditions), self-government (use self-determination). Aboriginal is an adjective only and is being replaced by Indigenous.
Many words in our everyday vocabulary are of Indigenous origin, though we assume they’re English. Here’s a partial list: canoe, hammock, igloo, kayak, potato, raccoon, skunk, squash, tomato. Also many place names have Indigenous origin including the provinces of Manitoba and Saskatchewan. Alternatively, explorers and settlers renamed places after themselves or their foreign sovereign (investor) in many cases as a means of claiming territory for the colonizing country.
First Nations, Inuit, and Métis
In Canada, the government recognizes “First Nations, Inuit, and Métis.” First Nations is a political term that refers to someone from a First Nation. Inuit means “The People” and refers to The People who live in the Arctic. Métis is both a noun (she is Métis) and adjective (Métis heritage). The term Métis is complex as it has three possible meanings.
1) Métis means “mixed race” in French and refers to those who were involved in the Red River Resistance and their descendents. They may speak French, English, and/or Michif. Note it’s termed the Red River Resistance, not rebellion.
2) Someone may identify as Metis (without accent) if they are English-speaking people of mixed Indigenous and non-Indigenous ancestry. For example, my great grandfather’s father was Dutch and his mother was Tuscarora (a nation who moved north and were adopted into the Haudenosaunee).
3) Métis (with accent) can also be used by those who do not descend from Red River.
Use of Traditional Names
Use Traditional Names that The People use to refer to their distinct nation—Anishinaabe, Haudenosaunee, Nuu’chah’nulth, Mi’Kmaq, Gitxsan, and so on. Younging writes: “Names are part of the way we render identity” (91). Be particular and precise. Many of us acknowledge the name of the Traditional Territory on which we’ve settled and use it in our email signature: Settled on unceded Stó:lō territory—Ts’elxwéyeqw (Chilliwack) and Se:máth (Sumas) tribes
Capitalization
Indigenous style uses capital letters where non-Indigenous writers/editors may not—Survivor, Chief, Clan, Elder, Indigenous Voice, the Longhouse as an institution, Midewiwin, Oral Tradition, Seven Fires, Sundance, Sweat Lodge, Vision Quest, Warrior Society, Wampum Belt, Traditional Knowledge. I see this as a positive way of showing honour and respect.
Possession
The Dispossessed: Life and Death in Native Canada by Geoffrey York was one of the first books I read, and it’s always stuck with me. York was a journalist with the Globe and Mail in Toronto. He wrote about the legacy of abuses from land grabs, to diseases, to residential schools, to reserve land that afforded The People little to nothing. They were dispossessed of their land and culture. They are now reclaiming, so when you’re writing, it’s important not to imply Indigenous Peoples are “owned” or “possessed” by Euro-colonial states. They are not Canada’s Indigenous Peoples. Also, use present tense rather than past. The Nuu’chah’nulth potlatch or hold potlatches, not the Nuu’chah’nulth held potlatches.
Younging’s guide is political. It’s complex and much to absorb. As a former high school English teacher, I suggest this book be used in humanities classes. Younging has titled this book with an obvious poke at Elements of Style, an American English writing style guide written by William Strunk Jr. in 1918, that’s still used by high school and university students. It’s time to change it up and expand our awareness of how language informs thought and thought informs language, as both inform culture and cultural prejudices. Even those of a subtle kind.